By Dawn Suggs
The holidays offer joyful festivities and carefree abandonment for many; however, they can also be a time of isolation and a pressure cooker of emotions and expectations for those who face a great deal of stress and duress already.
Studies show that domestic abuse and violence increase during such major holidays as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year for the following reasons.
- Stress from holiday shopping, finances, and planning can aggravate volatile personalities.
- Abusers are more likely to partake of alcohol or drugs when they don’t have to work.
- Simple opportunity: abuser are more likely to be home alone with their victims than at other times of the year.
On average there are about 1,300 deaths and 2 million injuries annually due to intimate partner violence and three women are killed every day by a partner, according to data compiled by Emory University, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science.
41.8% of Missouri women and 35.2% of Missouri men experience intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner sexual violence and/or intimate partner stalking in their lifetimes.
Here are some of the red flags that Women Against Crime describes as behavioral indicators that a friend or family member might be experiencing intimate partner violence:
- Excusing abusive behavior as “moody” or “needy” or as being due to drugs or alcohol.
- Needing to “ask permission” to go out or see or communicate with friends.
- Jealousy or accusations of infidelity from the partner.
- Criticism from the partner.
- Constant “checking in” via texts or phone calls from the partner.
- Partner accompanying survivor to events unnecessarily.
Cynthia Bennet of the non-profit JADASA (Journey against domestic and sexual abuse) advises that when speaking with someone subjected to violence at home, “Don’t discriminate, don’t judge, don’t give your opinion,” she warns. “All it takes is an inch of doubt in their voice that’ll cause them to go back in their shell.” Instead of being critical, or accusatory, rather emphasize your support, your unconditional love for them and offer resources when possible. There are a wide range of services available in Missouri: https://www.startherestl.org/domestic-violence.html
References:
Domestic Violence and the Holidays: What You Should Know – Women Against Crime
National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (2019). The national intimate partner and sexual violence survey: 2010-2012 State Report. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/NISVS-StateReportBook.pdf.
Related materials:
1. Addressing domestic violence in Black community
3. Cori Bush speaks at ‘Rally for Rosey’