“Black, Out, and Proud” is Word In Black’s series highlighting joyful coming out stories from Black LGBTQ+ folks, their lessons, and how communities can better support them during these pivotal moments.
Growing up as a Christian youth minister at a church in Columbia, South Carolina, Jade Marie Eichelberger knew that, one day, she would reckon with how her faith — and her family’s — could be at odds with her true identity.
“My family are devout Christian,” Eichelberger tells Word In Black. “We grew up under the understanding that anything that had to do with the LGBTQ+ community was a sin.”
For churchgoers in the LGBTQ+ community, the conflict between identity and faith is well-known. Among U.S. adults overall, six in ten say that whether a person is a man or a woman is determined by their sex assigned at birth, but that number rises to nearly 90% among white evangelical Christians.
Related: A Beginner’s Guide to Essential LGBTQ+ Terms
At 13, before she came out as transgender, Eichelberger’s brother found the secret Instagram account she was using to post photos of herself in drag makeup. Their mother’s reaction, Eichelberger says, was devastating.
“Her reaction of pain and disapproval stalled my transition for another 4 years,” she says.
In recent years, homosexuality has become more welcomed by faith communities. A majority of Christians (54%) now say that homosexuality should be accepted, rather than discouraged, by society. However, for Black transgender folks, acceptance and support remain an uphill battle. A 2022 Pew Research Center survey found that 7 in 10 Black Christians believe that gender is assigned at birth.
But how true is it that the trans identity cannot fit into Christian ideals?
My mother’s love for God has always enhanced her ability to be a loving mother instead of hindering it, because she believes that Jesus isn’t selective in who he loves.
Jade Marie Eichelberger
Data from UCLA School of Law shows that a growing number of LGBTQ+ adults — including trans folks — are no longer choosing between faith and identity. Nearly half (47%) of LGBTQ+ adults in the U.S. are religious, and an estimated 1.3 million religious LGBTQ+ adults are Christians.
And it was actually her mother’s faith that eventually led her to support Eichenberg’s transition.
By 17, Eichelberger knew that she could not continue to hide who she was. She dreamed of a life of freedom and self-love, and knew that she would pursue it — whatever the cost.
Eichelberger first confided in her younger sister who “had not grown up under the same strict Christian regimen that I had. She was more than warm and welcoming about my situation.”
Coming out to the rest of her family, however, initially proved more difficult.
“For a while after coming out, my mother, Scheri, walked around mourning as if she had lost a child,” she says. “I was convinced for a few months that I’d have the same common story of countless Black trans girls who had to leave their families at 18 and never look back.”
Yet the more she stood in her truth, the more Eichelberger realized that many in the Black community — even those outside of her family — were willing to respect and defend her identity, too.
Black women in particular — 62% of which say Black organizations should address the challenges Black LGBTQ+ people face — became her greatest allies.
“Black women have been holding up society since colonial days, defending outcasts and nurturing them,” Eichelberger says. “For me, it was a sweet girl from South Carolina named Ariana Pinder. She was a warrior for me. When people at my high school vilified me for simply being myself, she defended me and held me down.”
“I never once had been told that I was beautiful until she murmured those words,” Eichelberger says.
And her mother eventually began to accept her new daughter.
I can truly say I owe all of my success to [owning] my identity.
Jade Marie Eichelberger
“My mother’s love for God has always enhanced her ability to be a loving mother instead of hindering it, because she believes that Jesus isn’t selective in who he loves,” Eichelberger says. “My mother began using the correct name and pronouns about six months into my transition.”
Now, with over 200,000 followers on TikTok, Eichelberger is using social media to show others the realities of and power in transitioning, while inspiring cisgender folks to support the trans people in their lives.
“I can truly say I owe all of my success to [owning] my identity,” Eichelberger says. “My family’s story of how we overcame indoctrination to continue to love each other has given thousands of pre-transition folks hope that maybe, just maybe, their families will come around.”