There are moments when the news stops us — not because it is sensational, but because it is heartbreaking. The disappearance of Nancy Guthrie is one of those moments. A real woman. A real family. A real ache that does not resolve at the end of a news cycle or a television season. This is not a puzzle for public consumption. It is a human life suspended in uncertainty.

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Years spent in journalism teach a particular discipline: knowing when to pursue a story — and when to protect it from becoming one. As a publisher, I am acutely aware that real pain is not raw material, and that restraint is sometimes the most ethical response we have.

That distinction matters — especially now.

Narrative Habits Shape Our Curiosity

We live in a culture saturated by stories, particularly crime stories, that train us how to watch, what details to notice, and when to expect answers. These narratives can be gripping and well told. They invite us to lean forward, to analyze, to connect dots. But when real tragedy unfolds alongside fictional narratives that use similar storytelling signals, we must be careful about how curiosity operates on us.

During Black History Month, that care carries particular weight. Our communities have long understood the power of narrative — for good and for harm. We remember elders whose names anchored families, churches that served as places of refuge, neighbors who noticed when something was not right. We also remember what happens when stories outrun facts, when speculation replaces truth, and when humanity is lost in the telling. That collective memory teaches vigilance, but it also teaches restraint.

Fiction Promises Endings. Real Life Does Not

Fiction often relies on familiar signals — quiet homes, interrupted surveillance, DNA, money, silence — to pull viewers deeper into a story. Those elements are intentionally placed, carefully timed, and ultimately resolved. Fiction promises an ending.

Real life does not.

In the real world, DNA is not a narrative turn; it is a sobering confirmation. Family voices are not characters. They are loved ones living inside fear and hope. Law enforcement is not a dramatic device; it is bound by evidence, ethics, and the responsibility to protect an active investigation. And the public is not an audience — it is a community asked to remain alert, patient, and humane.

Thousands of families — many of them Black — are searching for missing loved ones.

One detail that often draws attention in both fictional and real cases is the presence of money — ransom demands in some stories, rewards offered in others. In fiction, money can function as leverage or misdirection. In real life, a reward is something else entirely: a signal of urgency, a plea for help, a recognition that answers may come from beyond official channels. It is not a plot point. It is an appeal grounded in hope.

Bearing Witness Without Turning Pain Into Content

Holding these distinctions matters because the stakes are real. The Guthrie family is living inside unanswered questions, and their pain should never be eclipsed by analysis or analogy. At the same time, they are not alone. Across this country, thousands of families — many of them Black — are searching for missing loved ones, carrying grief that does not make headlines and waiting for calls that may never come. Naming that reality does not diminish any one family’s suffering. It broadens our compassion without diluting it.

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The danger in moments like this is not curiosity itself. Curiosity is human. The danger is allowing habits shaped by television, podcasts, and instant commentary to turn real suffering into something to be interpreted rather than something to be honored.

Real life does not owe us clarity on a schedule. It does not reveal motives neatly or reward close reading with certainty. Sometimes it asks us to bear witness without filling in the blanks.

Restraint as a Moral Discipline

For communities shaped by long memory, restraint is a moral discipline. It is the discipline of refusing to speculate when speculation has historically been weaponized. It is the discipline of remembering that people are not stories, and that tragedy is not a teaching tool.

We can acknowledge how compelling narratives — real and fictional — draw us in. We can notice how familiar storytelling elements sharpen our attention. But we must also know when to pull back. When to say: this is not ours to solve. This is not ours to decode. This is a family’s pain, an investigation’s burden, and a community’s responsibility to respond with care.

Choosing Compassion Over Commentary

As we mark Black History Month, let us also mark this moment with prayer. We pray for the Guthrie family — for strength, protection, and peace in the waiting. We pray for all families searching for missing loved ones, named and unnamed. We pray for investigators entrusted with heavy responsibility, and for communities called to remain watchful without becoming unkind.

There may come a time for answers, or there may not. That uncertainty is the hardest part. Fiction promises endings. Real life offers no such guarantee.

What it does offer is a choice.

We can choose patience over projection. Compassion over commentary. Respect over resolution.

And sometimes — especially in moments like this — that choice is the most faithful, most human response we have.

Dr. Frances Murphy Draper is CEO and publisher of The AFRO-American Newspapers.