Overview:
Drawn to funeral homes as a curious child, Diamond Quigley grew up to become a mortician dedicated to easing grief. Her work — and a practical planning workbook — helps families reduce stress, conflict, and uncertainty during one of life’s most painful moments.
Even as a child, Diamond Quigley always knew she wanted to be a mortician. Her curiosity in strange places was a dead giveaway.
When a relative or loved one passed, and the Quigley family arrived at a funeral home, little Diamond would wander away, unafraid. While many children (and some adults) find mortuaries creepy or overwhelming, she wanted to explore, especially the rooms closed off to the public.
During one period, “we lost about five family members, so I spent a lot of time at the funeral home and I was just always curious,” says Quigley, now a woman whose profession is working with the dead. “I said, ‘Mom, can I go to the other room? I want to go look. I want to see.’”
She would slip into nooks and crannies not set up for public display, but “I wasn’t afraid,” says Quigley. “I’d be at the casket, looking, peeking. I wanted to see what was going on. I was just curious about everything in those places.”
‘A Funeral They’ll Never Forget’
That curiosity and determination led her to become a mortician and to write a book, “My Funeral: Everything You Need to Know.” It’s a workbook designed to make the process of managing death and funerals much easier by helping people prepare in advance.
“By having all this information compiled in one place, I felt a sense of relief knowing my loved ones would not have to make difficult decisions on my behalf,” she says. Rather than making tough, on-the-spot decisions when emotions are running high, the workbook would free her family “to focus on grieving and healing during a challenging time.”
By having all this information compiled in one place, I felt a sense of relief knowing my loved ones would not have to make difficult decisions on my behalf.
Diamond Quigley, Mortician
Quigley currently works at Infinite Legacy, an organ and tissue procurement organization, but also moonlights as a funeral director for Precious Memories, the mortuary that arranged the services for gospel titan Richard Smallwood in January. Her career objective, however, is to own her own establishment offering a suite of services, from custom funerals to direct cremation.
“My goal is to give them a funeral they’ll never forget,” Quigley says. “No matter how crazy it sounds, I’m going to try my best. So my number one thing is to find out who my family is before we get into the details.”
Word in Black caught up with Quigley for an interview, which has been edited for length and clarity.
Word in Black: So, how did you actually get started as a mortician?
Diamond Quigley: Well, first, I went to school to be a cosmetologist because I figured I was going to do hair, nails, and makeup. I already had my own set of clients, but I wanted to do this for the funeral home. So I left my clients, left the salon, and started [studying mortuary science] at Catonsville Community College.
WIB: The funeral industry is typically run by established families. Tell me about the barriers you encountered at the industry door.
Quigley: When I finished school, I set out to find an apprenticeship, but it was harder than I’d imagined. You really have to know someone to get started. I didn’t know they have a non-compete clause, which means if I left their establishment after completing an apprenticeship, I couldn’t work at any other establishment in the region. And I needed to stay in this area.
So I found someone who’d train me without insisting on the clause. It was also hard because many people start out [in the industry], sort of out of curiosity, and then find they really don’t want to do it. That’s disappointing after the funeral home has invested time and money into training.
WIB: And once you had your mortuary license?
Quigley: I worked hands-on with arrangements and embalming at Service Corporation International (SCI), corporate funeral homes, where I met Miss Pam, who had been in the funeral service for over 30 years. She taught me everything she knew. And no matter how prepared I was, things never went as expected.
Then I completed an apprenticeship at a crematory. She guided me through my first times. I was terrified. Next I moved on to Wiley Funeral Services to gain culturally specific experience in the African-American community.
WIB: One of my mortician friends told me about unorthodox setups for funerals, both in-house and in other places.
Quigley: For sure. We’ve set up chapels to look like clubs, basketball venues. We even had one as a first date restaurant area. We’ve set up a gym scenario. We’ve had DJs. And used horse-drawn carriages. We will move all the chairs out of the chapel if necessary.
We’ve put decals on the floor. We’ve had basketball hoops inside the chapel. We personalize everything. We’ve had full-service funerals in schools, on the stage, and in the arts department. We’re open to anything.
WIB: What if the family is not happy with your end product?
Quigley: Then I’ll fix whatever needs fixing right in front of them. Whether it’s makeup or hair. If they don’t like the way the body is situated in the casket, I’ll move it around, right in front of them, until they’re satisfied.
WIB: Tell me about your book.
Quigley: It’s sort of a consumer guide for handling funerals. It’s a workbook that you can fill in and give to your family so they have no question as to your wishes. All your important business information goes into the book. Your desires for your services.
WIB: I always say weddings and funerals bring out the best and worst of families. Do you agree?
Quigley: Absolutely. Sometimes I just have to move out of the way and let them fight. And then resume the conversation.
WIB: Do some families also make arrangements before their death?
Quigley: These are my best conversations. But it’s so sad. Some people just want to prepare. Some are sick or are bringing in parents who are sick. I’ve met some of the best people ever. And it’s different meeting those people prior to their passing away.
And then I just want to cry when someone passes that I’ve met and spent time with. But I know I can deliver because I know exactly what they wanted. All the arrangements. Color schemes and everything. This also puts the family at ease. But my heart hurts.