Diddy, the alleged sexual abuser, has put the dismissal of Black women and girls’ experiences of abuse back in the spotlight. Whispers about the rapper named Sean Combs and his alleged abuse of women came out into the open when Cassie, his ex-girlfriend, sued him late last year, alleging he raped and beat her throughout their decade-long relationship.
Combs settled the case out of court and insists he hasn’t abused anyone. But he quickly faced more lawsuits and allegations, and federal agents raided his home last week.
As more abused women come forward in the post-Me Too era, it makes you think how many Black women and girls have experienced sexual assault. Unfortunately, the data is grim: according to the American Psychological Association, 1 in 4 Black girls will be sexually abused before the age of 18.
It’s likely you’ve already met someone who’s been abused. But there are ways to prevent child sexual abuse. In this guide, we break down the data, highlight resources, and empower our community to break the cycle of sexual violence.
Why this matters: Too many Black women and girls are dismissed from the conversation of sexual abuse. Experts say it doesn’t have to be this way.
Advice from an Expert: Jameca Woody Cooper, a clinical psychologist, says it’s important for parents, caregivers, and adults to teach children about body autonomy. If a child doesn’t want to kiss or hug that neighbor down the street, they don’t have to.
Children also must be taught how to exercise boundaries and say no. And, she says, Black folks need to have those difficult conversations about the secrecy that is often perpetuated in families.
“We avoid involving police because we don’t want to embarrass the person, family member or destroy their reputation,” Woody Cooper says. “But we need to care more about the health and future of our children than the adults we sometimes protect.”
Last year, Word In Black produced Lost Innocence: The Adultification of Black Children series. In the seven-part series, I interviewed dozens of children, experts, and adults who spoke about society’s hypersexualization of Black girls and how it contributes to sexual abuse.
Two of the women interviewed in the If Parents Don’t Protect Their Kids From Abuse, Who Will? story spoke about the abuse they suffered as children. Cherry DeJesus of New Jersey told me she was sexually abused by several different people from ages 5 to 13. She told her mother, but the abuse didn’t stop.
Her story, like so many others, highlights the ways in which we think about Black girls’ and boys’ bodies. The way we assign adult roles to them and how we expect them to know about sex. Unfortunately, this has created a dangerous cycle of Black children being sexually abused through dismissal, hypersexualization, and a general lack of protection.
“The biggest factor that likely contributes to the sexual abuse of black girls, is who parents and adults trust to be left alone with young girls,” Woody Cooper says.
Ultimately, the blame is on the abuser. But parents and adults have a responsibility to protect Black children — who are disproportionately vulnerable.
Here’s what you can do:
- Recognize the dangers of secrecy. Protecting the abuser by keeping it quiet or refusing to tell the police teaches children that they can’t report their abuse to anyone outside of the family. Woody Cooper says in the Black community, telling authorities is seen as snitching or being disloyal, even if a child has been harmed. This cultural rule has protected many abusers, which gives them ammunition to commit more abuse because they are convinced it will not be reported.
- Teach young Black girls that their body is theirs. The simple rule — No one deserves to touch it or have access to it without their permission — can empower them to stop abuse before it starts.
- Talk to your children about sexual health. It’s important they know about and understand their private parts; experts say the younger, the better. They also should understand that sex is something serious, and nobody should pressure them to do it. Here’s a story to help you start those conversations How Sex Education Is Failing Black Youth.
- RAINN, the national anti-sexual assault organization, can help. The nonprofit offers free tips on how you can protect your child from sexual abuse. Check out their detailed advice here.
Bottom line: Sexual abuse can cause life-long mental health issues. Black girls and boys deserve to be protected. How are you going to protect Black children from sexual abuse?
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual abuse of any kind, call or text the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE. It’s free, confidential, and available 24/7.